i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
