Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
