I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
