oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
