not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
vagina is talking i cant
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
