my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
