Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize