her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
