We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
