No more Irish car bombs ever.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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