Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
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Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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