a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize