obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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