I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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