Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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