i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
