I just saw a hot homeless man
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
