Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
