carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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