I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
