I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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