She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
