My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
