It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
