if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
They have beer where we have blood.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
