if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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