and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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