I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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