i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
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If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize