I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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