If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
