So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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