I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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