bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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