I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
