Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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