Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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