I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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