I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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