Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
