my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
