I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
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Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
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Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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