i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
