Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
