We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
