I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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