Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Randomize
