Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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