after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
