your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
