no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
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