I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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