she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
