I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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