My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
should my penis look like a turkey
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
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