I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
