you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
