Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize