Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
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