Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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