wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He shit in the fireplace
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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