The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
