I hate all girls vehemently.
oh god the rape fog is back!
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize