I'm lost and stupid without you.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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