dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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