My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize