how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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