Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize