I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
